Fish Out of Water Rule #7 Part One: Don't Leave Home Without Earplugs!

Fish Out of Water Rule #6: Don't Let Montezuma Spoil Your Travel Fun!

Mexico and my digestive system have always been enemies. This has been a big problem for me, as I love the country. So may exciting places to see and good things to eat. Living in California, Mexico is such a tempting destination. But the price was always high for my culinary adventures. When I decided to take my husband up on a trip to the Yucatan, I swore this time I was going to find away to truly enjoy the amazing cuisine he kept telling me about.

After a well-spent hour of searching for answers on Google, the usual precautions were posted. Frequently wash your hands, (now made much easier by hand sanitizer), drink bottled water, don’t eat vegetables washed in local water. You know the drill. Then I came across a post that would change my life. A doctor who loved to travel had a similar problem to mine. He liked sampling local cuisine until he tried that one thing that set his digestive track over the edge. I’m grateful for the last bout he had in Thailand, as it forced him to discover a cure. Somehow he figured out that if he took a chewable Pepto tablet before each meal he never got sick again. Eureka I thought. Yucatan here I come!

I diligently chewed a tablet before every meal as we ate our way through the Yucatan. From yummy tamales called brazo de reina, to the delicious enchilada-like papadzules, I ate with complete abandon. This cure may not work for everyone, and you definitely don’t want to exceed the recommended daily dose, but I have to say my digestive track was positively singing powered by the amazing pink tablet.

But the true test of the mighty Pepto pill came when we ventured to the giant pyramid of Uxmal. A veritable tour-de-force of engineering, Uxmal seems to shoot straight up to the Heavens. It makes hiking up Chichen Itza feel like a stroll in the park. The steps are so tiny you have to walk up sideways. Once at the top, the view of the surrounding grounds is breathtaking. Off in the distance you can see smaller pyramids still blanketed in vines of the jungle. The same vines that once swallowed up Uxmal.

After practically tight roping my way down the steep pyramid, I had worked up quite an appetite. My husband wanted to get back on the road and try a local place devoid of tourists. After more than a week of worry free eating, I gave him a thumbs up. When we pulled into a gravel lot next to a small house on the side of the road, my enthusiasm quickly dwindled. “Is this even a restaurant?”

He gave me a confident grin earned from a previous two-month exploration of the Yucatan. “This is what they call home cooking.”

He wasn’t kidding. We walked past a yard full of chickens and into the house turned restaurant. The décor was simple with dirt floors and a small grouping of battered wooden tables and chairs. Instinctively, I reached into my backpack and popped a Pepto. I looked at my husband, “What should we order?”

“Well, I think the main thing on the menu is chicken.”  

I gave him a look. “You mean our lunch is strolling around the front yard?”

He patted my hand. “Can’t get any fresher.”

We placed our orders for pollo pibil, a delicious native dish made with bitter orange and chicken wrapped in banana leaves. I watched as a woman headed straight from our table and out the front door. After a few loud squawks, she returned with two dead chickens. In a flash I watched her pluck the birds on a stool just outside the back door. And in fifteen minutes lunch was served!

After the delicious meal, I turned to my husband and said, “Fantastic choice. You weren’t kidding when you said fresh.” I proceeded to pull a small feather out of my teeth. “I have the proof!”

Moral of the story, always follow Fish Out Of Water Rule # 6, Don’t Let Montezuma Spoil Your Travel Fun! Try popping a Pepto before adventurous eating, your digestive track might thank you.   

Fish Out of Water Rule #5 Part Two: Be Wary of Locals Advice

I have a passion for architecture, especially buildings that are not the usual tourist hot spot.  When I was in Tuscany, I experienced a bad case of grand cathedral overload.  There are so many lovely churches in the wonderful medieval towns that my eyes couldn’t take in any more spectacular detail after the 30^th church.  So I’m well aware of how locals can become complacent about the beautiful architecture they walk by everyday. So when I ask a local if they know of a fabulous historic building, sometimes their eye’s glaze over.

Case in point, my trip to the city of Narbone in the south of France. It’s a delightful place with the stunning midi canal running through the center of town. The city dates back to Roman times and even has the remnants of a Roman stone road in the main square. The buildings that line the square are from the medieval era including a large cathedral that peaks out from behind several imposing government buildings. 

I took an ancient architecture class in college so I love when I see elements I studied in class.  The cathedrals upper level is supported by a series of flying buttresses. Now, I’m used to seeing the impressive buttresses at ground level, like at Notre Dame, but this was the first time I had seen them so high up on a building. I thought the cathedral must be very special. Unfortunately, I had plans to see some of Narbone’s other wonderful attractions so the church wasn’t on my sight seeing list. Besides the grand churches of Paris had once again given me cathedral overload.

After going to the fabulous market and having a yummy lunch with a view of the canal, I told my friend I wanted to do a bit of shopping.  Who knew Narbone would be filled with so many incredible knock offs of the fashion I had seen in Paris but couldn‘t afford?  After we filled our bags full, we had a bit of time to kill before meeting up with our friends. The sight of the flying buttresses still haunted me. So I decided to ask a local if it was worth rushing over to see the cathedral since we had some time.  

I approached an older woman carrying almost as many bags as we had. In my broken French I said, “The church by the square. Is it beautiful?”

She looked at the shopping bags filled with clothes and souvenirs —our American cover was blown. In a heavily accented English she said, “The cathedral is very old but simple. Not very nice.”

How could a place with such an elaborate buttress system be simple? “Really. It looks quite large and impressive from the square.”

She wrinkled her nose. “No. Not worth your time. Do more shopping!”

And with that pronouncement she marched off toward the market to do just that. I looked at my friend. “Something in my gut tells me we should go take a peak.”

She gave me a smile. “My empty wallet agrees with you.” 

We speed walked up the street to the cathedral. My jaw dropped the second I caught a glimpse of the impressive height of the façade.  “Wow, no wonder they need buttresses on the top. This church is ridiculously tall. My neck hurts trying to find the roof.”

The entrance to the cathedral was quite plain as the woman said, but when I walked through the impressive doors, the shear grandeur and volume of the space was overwhelming. One hundred and thirty feet of vaulted majesty accented by enormous stain glass windows. Although the cathedral didn’t have the cache' of it’s larger sisters like Norte Dame, standing in the nave gave me goosebumps.

I turned to my friend. “This place is simple? What the heck was that woman talking about? They must put something in the water.”    

Moral of the story, always follow Fish Out of Water Rule#5, Be Wary of Advice From Locals.  You might miss out on a spectacular architectural wonder. Besides your wallet will thank you.

 

Fish Out of Water Rule #5 Part One: Be Wary of Locals Advice

I’ve traveled around enough to not be shy about asking the locals for advice. Sometimes with my limited vocabulary, I may have to fill in the missing words with hand signs and the occasional sketch. But I’m pretty good at getting my message across. I enjoy finding spots that are a bit off the beaten path. Whether it’s a hidden church or temple, or a restaurant that features unusual cuisine, I’ve found some amazing places by asking the locals to divulge their favorite spots.

But here’s a word of caution. This strategy is not without risks. You may be led to places you’d rather not know existed and encouraged to eat things that probably should not enter your digestive system.  Most of the time I don’t regret following a locals advice, but here’s an example of a time I wished I’d been a bit more discriminating.

On a sticky summer night in Tokyo, I should have known better than to brag to a Japanese local that I was an adventurous eater. The Japanese eat more unusual things than raw fish. But when the cute guy with a big smile said in broken English, “I know place interesting food,” 

I nodded my head in anticipation. In hindsight, I probably should have been a bit more leery of the word “interesting”. 

Following the map the guy drew for me; I walked down the twists and turns of the streets in downtown Shibuya, until I came to a tiny hole-in-the-wall. The front of the restaurant, only the size of a storage shed, looked like it could hold barely twenty people. There was something charming about the brick clad facade with a large green door. Overhead hung a beat up wooden sign with a green grasshopper sitting proudly on a large leaf. The aroma of roasted meat tickled my nostrils as I opened the door. I sat down at a large bar similar to one you find at a sushi restaurant, and breathed deep. I was starving and the wonderful smells coming from the kitchen almost made me drool.

One of the chefs came over and asked me for my order. With my limited Japanese, I said, “Can I have the house special.” 

The man next to me raised his eyebrows, and said in broken English, “You like very much.”

I watched as my fellow diners enjoyed large plates of noodles with unusual shaped garnish that looked like it was moving.  Had the summer heat finally gotten to me? My diner companions seemed unfazed as they slurped up their noodles enjoying every bite.  The chef worked feverishly behind the counter arranging a group of small brown pod like objects on top of a mound of noodles. 

He presented my dinner with a big flourish and said, “Itadakimasu, dig in!”  

My mouth dropped open when I looked down at the “house special”.  The wonderful roasted aroma I had been salivating over all night was roasted beetles!     

 Moral of the story; be sure to follow Fish Out of Water Rule#5, Be Wary of Advice From Locals.  You may end up with a beetle in your mouth. Part two coming soon. : )  

Fish Out Of Water Rule # 4 Don't Leave Home Without It!

A wonderful display of perfume in Paris 

There’s a general rule when traveling in Western Europe, you can find almost everything we have in America. So why bother to load yourself down with a bunch of crap? But I’d rather live by the old adage, “Better safe than sorry.” Especially if you are like me and have a host of allergies making life a bit more complicated.

Case in point, my recent trip to France. Although I’ve traveled quite a bit, this was my first trip to that part of the world. I didn’t really believe my friends when they told me I could buy what ever I need in France. The French are famous for their perfumes and fragrances are at the top of my allergy list. Walking into a Department store near the cosmetic counter or cruising down the detergent aisle in the grocery store, I have to hold my breath.

Whenever I travel abroad I always take fragrance free soap and lotions with me. Since I hate to loose valuable luggage space to a bunch of bottles, for my trip to France I decided to believe my friends and bring just a few travel size bottles and a small bar of soap. I needed the luggage space for cold weather clothes, as I would be staying through mid October.  

In Paris I had no problem finding fragrance free products although they certainly weren’t cheap but when I got to the south of France the pickings became non-existent. And wouldn’t you know it, my products began to run out. I hadn’t taken a bath or washed my hair in three days and thought my secret was safe.

Then my friend Joan pulled me aside. “Anne, is your shower broken?”

I looked at her puzzled. “No, why?”

Joan grabbed my arm and moved me away from our friends. “Because you kind of smell.” 

My face burned hot. How humiliating! 

I explained that I had allergies and had run out of my unscented soap. Joan assured me that the soap she had was virtually fragrance free. Not wanting another embarrassing confrontation, I gave the soap the sniff test. But as anyone with allergies can tell you, the sniff test isn’t always the best policy. In desperation I broke down and used the soap. I lathered up my right arm and waited for a reaction. Nothing. Left arm count to ten….you get the picture.  I finished and thought; yeah I’ve been saved from the stink!  My celebration didn’t last long. The next morning I was starving so I rushed to get breakfast. 

While stuffing my face with cereal when Joan asked, “Are you all right?”

I thought maybe she was commenting on my bed-head hairdo.  “Yeah, why?”

“Because your face is swollen and you have red streaks all over your neck. You look like you're ready for Halloween.” 

Moral of the story; trust your instincts and follow Fish Out of Water Rule #4, Don’t Leave Home Without It! Your complexion will thank you.  

Fish Out Of Water Rule # 3 Learn the Language Basics Before You Leave Home!

The view from a side street in beautiful Assisi 

How many of you get all fired up to learn a language before you head off to visit a new country? I’m raising my hand. : ) How many actually do it? You’re not alone. 

Two months before I was going to leave on a four week trip to Tuscany, I checked out several Italian language books from the library. Being a good Girl Scout, I wanted to have at least a few basic phrases memorized before I left. The books sat in my office gathering dust until I looked at the calendar and realized I was leaving in five days! I crammed like I was studying for a college final. Then life took over and the books once again sat gathering dust on my desk. 

Once on the plane with my Italian cheat sheet, I realized I had only managed to memorize two phrases. How much is that? And, Where is the toilet? Better than nothing, and certainly useful, but once in Italy I realized I should have hit the books with a little more gusto. Eight words weren't going to get me very far. 

My trip to the beautiful medieval town of Assisi is a prefect example. The town is  full of impressive cathedrals and quaint cobblestone roads. The layout however, is very confusing. The labyrinth of streets all seem to be heading farther and farther away from civilization and up the steep hillside. Once I l left the popular churches behind, the chances of finding a bathroom diminished until large bushes were looking very attractive. 



Crossing my legs and wishing my jeans were a size larger, I staggered over to a group of older women and said, "Where is the toilet?"



They proceeded to wave their arms and point down one street and toward another and then they smiled and said, “Ciao!” 


I stomped my feet in frustration. Why hadn’t I learned the basics? Turn right, turn left, go down the hill three blocks, all would have come in very handy. Instead, I wandered around the towns back streets until I finally found a café. I practically knocked a woman over to get to the toilet. The relief was short. When I came out of the bathroom I faced a very unhappy husband who’s words needed no translation. He called me every name in the book.

Moral of the story, do yourself a favor and always follow Fish Out of Water Rule #3, Learn the Language Basics Before You Leave Home. Your bladder will thank you.  

                

Fish Out of Water Rule # 2 If You're Lost Admit It!

The Thunder Gate of Sensoji Temple

My unfailing sense of direction always added another dimension to my love of travel. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d managed to get lost. That was before I landed in Tokyo. Talk about a test of my navigational skills. The city was a labyrinth of alleys and side streets, and guess what? The streets didn't have names! The address numbers were really block numbers. Confused? Welcome to Japan. 

The famous Sensoji Temple was at the top of my Tokyo must-see list. Sun poured through my hotel window and I knew I’d picked the perfect day to visit the famous site located in Asakusa. I asked my Japanese friend, Keiko, to draw me a map to follow once I got off the subway station. I thought I had nothing to worry about. Keiko was a native so how could I possibly get lost?

Easy. I got off at the station, turned left, and ran into a market where endless stalls of merchandise bombarded me. Beautiful textiles blew in the wind like flags. Then a row of stalls full of amazing handbags caught my eye. I was so dazzled by all the styles that I didn’t realize I had wandered way off course. After purchasing a beautiful embroidered wallet and matching coin purse, I finally came up for air. I reached into my pocket for Keiko’s map. Empty! “Crap,”  I said to a lady in a blue floral dress. She smiled and waved good-bye as I walked back toward the street. Sweat dripped down my face as I struggled to remember the landmarks Keiko had drawn on her map. Was it turn left at the bookstore?  

I headed down the main boulevard with complete faith that my incredible sense of direction would somehow kick in. I’d turn the corner and see the famous Thunder Gate of Sensoji Temple. After wandering down several alleys I could no longer deny I was lost. I stuffed down my pride and made my first attempt to seek help. A nice woman with a colorful shopping bag looked like a good candidate. “Excuse me, do you speak English?” She shook her head and quickly walked away.

Several more housewives walked by but I continued to strike out. Then I saw two teenage girls in their school uniforms. They must have studied English. “Hello, do you speak English?”

One of the girls nodded her head. “Are you lost?”

“Yes, I’m trying to find the Thunder Gate.”

The girl and her friend were all smiles as they walked me to a main street that led directly to the temple. Now that they’d pointed the way, I found my destination in no time. I looked at my watch. It was already 3:30. How could I have been shopping for two hours? Knowing I had to meet Keiko for dinner at 5:00 way on the other side of town, I snapped a few pictures and waved good-bye to the Thunder Gate.

Safely back in Shibuya, I met Keiko for dinner with just five minutes to spare. I  tried to hide the evidence that I did anything more than visit the temple.   

I settled in and ordered octopus for dinner while Keiko suspiciously eyed my purse with the plastic bag sticking out. “So what did you think of the temple?” 

“An amazing experience, so spiritual.”

Keiko gave me a knowing grin. “Yes, I can tell. Your face is glowing. What did you see that made such an impression on you?”

“The Thunder Gate was amazing. I loved how the enormous paper lanterns swung back and forth in the breeze. But I especially liked the red leather purse with the chrome buckles.” Oops.

Moral of the story: when you are traveling abroad, don’t be afraid to admit when you’re lost. You won't end up with octopus on your face like I did.