Fish Out of Water Rule #5 Part Two: Be Wary of Locals Advice

I have a passion for architecture, especially buildings that are not the usual tourist hot spot.  When I was in Tuscany, I experienced a bad case of grand cathedral overload.  There are so many lovely churches in the wonderful medieval towns that my eyes couldn’t take in any more spectacular detail after the 30^th church.  So I’m well aware of how locals can become complacent about the beautiful architecture they walk by everyday. So when I ask a local if they know of a fabulous historic building, sometimes their eye’s glaze over.

Case in point, my trip to the city of Narbone in the south of France. It’s a delightful place with the stunning midi canal running through the center of town. The city dates back to Roman times and even has the remnants of a Roman stone road in the main square. The buildings that line the square are from the medieval era including a large cathedral that peaks out from behind several imposing government buildings. 

I took an ancient architecture class in college so I love when I see elements I studied in class.  The cathedrals upper level is supported by a series of flying buttresses. Now, I’m used to seeing the impressive buttresses at ground level, like at Notre Dame, but this was the first time I had seen them so high up on a building. I thought the cathedral must be very special. Unfortunately, I had plans to see some of Narbone’s other wonderful attractions so the church wasn’t on my sight seeing list. Besides the grand churches of Paris had once again given me cathedral overload.

After going to the fabulous market and having a yummy lunch with a view of the canal, I told my friend I wanted to do a bit of shopping.  Who knew Narbone would be filled with so many incredible knock offs of the fashion I had seen in Paris but couldn‘t afford?  After we filled our bags full, we had a bit of time to kill before meeting up with our friends. The sight of the flying buttresses still haunted me. So I decided to ask a local if it was worth rushing over to see the cathedral since we had some time.  

I approached an older woman carrying almost as many bags as we had. In my broken French I said, “The church by the square. Is it beautiful?”

She looked at the shopping bags filled with clothes and souvenirs —our American cover was blown. In a heavily accented English she said, “The cathedral is very old but simple. Not very nice.”

How could a place with such an elaborate buttress system be simple? “Really. It looks quite large and impressive from the square.”

She wrinkled her nose. “No. Not worth your time. Do more shopping!”

And with that pronouncement she marched off toward the market to do just that. I looked at my friend. “Something in my gut tells me we should go take a peak.”

She gave me a smile. “My empty wallet agrees with you.” 

We speed walked up the street to the cathedral. My jaw dropped the second I caught a glimpse of the impressive height of the façade.  “Wow, no wonder they need buttresses on the top. This church is ridiculously tall. My neck hurts trying to find the roof.”

The entrance to the cathedral was quite plain as the woman said, but when I walked through the impressive doors, the shear grandeur and volume of the space was overwhelming. One hundred and thirty feet of vaulted majesty accented by enormous stain glass windows. Although the cathedral didn’t have the cache' of it’s larger sisters like Norte Dame, standing in the nave gave me goosebumps.

I turned to my friend. “This place is simple? What the heck was that woman talking about? They must put something in the water.”    

Moral of the story, always follow Fish Out of Water Rule#5, Be Wary of Advice From Locals.  You might miss out on a spectacular architectural wonder. Besides your wallet will thank you.

 

Fish Out Of Water Rule # 4 Don't Leave Home Without It!

A wonderful display of perfume in Paris 

There’s a general rule when traveling in Western Europe, you can find almost everything we have in America. So why bother to load yourself down with a bunch of crap? But I’d rather live by the old adage, “Better safe than sorry.” Especially if you are like me and have a host of allergies making life a bit more complicated.

Case in point, my recent trip to France. Although I’ve traveled quite a bit, this was my first trip to that part of the world. I didn’t really believe my friends when they told me I could buy what ever I need in France. The French are famous for their perfumes and fragrances are at the top of my allergy list. Walking into a Department store near the cosmetic counter or cruising down the detergent aisle in the grocery store, I have to hold my breath.

Whenever I travel abroad I always take fragrance free soap and lotions with me. Since I hate to loose valuable luggage space to a bunch of bottles, for my trip to France I decided to believe my friends and bring just a few travel size bottles and a small bar of soap. I needed the luggage space for cold weather clothes, as I would be staying through mid October.  

In Paris I had no problem finding fragrance free products although they certainly weren’t cheap but when I got to the south of France the pickings became non-existent. And wouldn’t you know it, my products began to run out. I hadn’t taken a bath or washed my hair in three days and thought my secret was safe.

Then my friend Joan pulled me aside. “Anne, is your shower broken?”

I looked at her puzzled. “No, why?”

Joan grabbed my arm and moved me away from our friends. “Because you kind of smell.” 

My face burned hot. How humiliating! 

I explained that I had allergies and had run out of my unscented soap. Joan assured me that the soap she had was virtually fragrance free. Not wanting another embarrassing confrontation, I gave the soap the sniff test. But as anyone with allergies can tell you, the sniff test isn’t always the best policy. In desperation I broke down and used the soap. I lathered up my right arm and waited for a reaction. Nothing. Left arm count to ten….you get the picture.  I finished and thought; yeah I’ve been saved from the stink!  My celebration didn’t last long. The next morning I was starving so I rushed to get breakfast. 

While stuffing my face with cereal when Joan asked, “Are you all right?”

I thought maybe she was commenting on my bed-head hairdo.  “Yeah, why?”

“Because your face is swollen and you have red streaks all over your neck. You look like you're ready for Halloween.” 

Moral of the story; trust your instincts and follow Fish Out of Water Rule #4, Don’t Leave Home Without It! Your complexion will thank you.  

Fish Out Of Water Rule # 1 Never Make The Same Mistake Twice

The lovely village of Minerve in the south of France

Last night I indulged in my guilty pleasure by watching an episode of HGTV’s House Hunters International set in the south of France. The house stood in the beautiful medieval village of Minerve, with an impressive Roman arch bridge spanning a deep ravine. The sight of the village brought back a not so pleasant moment that took place in a lovely vine-covered restaurant overlooking the ravine. 

I was with my impeccably dressed friend Lisette, and we had just finished ordering lunch when she stood up and said, “Can you come outside?” 


I sat stunned. My grandmother had the same disapproving tone in her voice whenever she noticed my pants were riding a bit too low. I instinctively checked my jeans as I stood up and walked out of the restaurant.

Lisette kicked at a stone while she nervously smoked a cigarette. What the heck had I done? I hated being thought of as the typical ugly American. I stared at her through a veil of smoke. “Is everything okay?” 

She gave me a smile as she put out her cigarette.

“I’m sorry, but I wanted to point out that you didn’t say thank you when the waitress gave you the menu. When she filled your water glass you just smiled.”

Can you say fish out of water moment? I followed Lisette back into the restaurant and made sure to say thank you, merci, when the waitress returned with our food. An amazing plat de jour of duck confit and truffle potatoes. When the waitress brought the dessert menu I said merci loud and clear. 

So before the chocolate mousse had a chance to hit the table, I once again I said, "merci."


By the polite nudge I received from Lisette, I probably went a little thank you crazy.   

Moral of the story:Always follow Fish Out of Water Rule #One: Never make the same mistake twice, or you might wind up with chocolate mouse in your lap!